Medical Duties

Son 2 and I flew to Brisbane for his medical checkup.  All’s good it seems and have now stretched visits to 8 weekly now instead of 6 weekly. Bonus. We flew back on the lunchtime flight which gave my son time to spread some soil out on my front footpath.  Had been there for weeks, so having it actually done was a relief after him promising for weeks to do it.

I appreciate it as I am trying to get my house and yard more manageable as it’s continual maintenance isn’t easy for me.  I would like to have it in a sell-able condition, even though house prices have reduced dramatically since I bought this place 9 years ago.

Motivation is that I am hosting my last Christmas this year.  So neat and tidy would be nice.

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House bound

Been unemployed for a year now. I have applied for many jobs which I felt that I could do, even ones that I had no experience in.  Even offering to   work for 4 weeks without pay to assure I was suited to the job and to learn on the job not to be a burden on the company.  But alas!  Not even .one response received.  Not even a thanks but no thanks.

Perhaps it’s my age.  Late 50’s.  Having worked all my life and being self sufficent this is a real blow to any confidence I had.  I enjoyed the challenges and it gave me purpose to bounce up each day.  Although, for years of working long hours, enjoying the challenges it seems I neglected to have what people call a social life.  There was never time as I was devoted to my kids and my job (which supported us through the years) and this certainly hasn’t done me any favors.

I am a victim of my own demise.  Not looking for sympathy, just stating the facts. Seems I have locked myself into a corner with no where to turn. Days just run into weeks then months. I really have no purpose in the realm of things.  Most days I have fleeting thoughts of doing a Will but then I would have to go out and find someone to countersign it to make it legal.  All seems too difficult, and does it really matter?  I won’t make any difference to me when the time comes.

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Return to WordPress

Sure been a long time between posts here.  Living life in a blur than BAM!!  Made redundant without warning and now wondering what I will do from day to day to keep sane. 20 years of devoted service and experience.  Where did that get me, giving plenty and taking nothing.  New management, cost cutting, and having no idea what I actually did but calls that my job is no longer required to be done by anyone.  What a lot of rot!! Totally not legal redundancy, but to fight you have to have money.  Hmm something I don’t have much of.

Looking on the bright side, I am free.  Denied taking leave for a few years as they needed things done month to month.  Now it’s time I did something for me.. yay.

Been thinking of what I can do and photography has come to mind as I would like to go overseas at least once in my life, so I need to buy a camera. Been looking and researching so I need to make a move.  Maybe today. This could be the start of something worthwhile for me.  Looking to make a new start for 2015.

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Who said Sunday was a day of rest?

Slept in a little this morning, but knowing I had so much to do today just to keep on top of things around here, that’s probably why I got up early.  Still had to wait until it was later so I could mow, as I didn’t want to wake the neighbours.  Had all dramas starting the mower.  Went to basics, fuel, spark.  Too me awhile, but not exactly sure why it wouldn’t start but finally I got it chuffing away so I took off mowing.  All the time thinking about the next job.  About 4 hours with a couple of refuels and a drink inbetween got it all done.  Then do I weed-eat or use the water pressure cleaner to clean the concrete?  Opted for the latter due to I could start in the shade.  Very hot again today, or maybe it was just because I felt it more as I was out in it.  Running out of light again, I did as much as I could.  Looks great, certainly got satisfaction out of doing as much as I have.  Still more to go, and I hope to get some of that done after work during the week.

Hit the shower and was looking forward to putting my feet up.  I remember turning the TV on, but next thing Son1 woke me and sent me to bed.  Starting to make that sleep in front of the TV a habit, and I am not sure I like it.  But went to bed then couldn’t sleep.  Too tired to play poker on Facebook though.

Tomorrow is back to paid work day.  What happened to the weekend?

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What can I say, it’s Saturday

Saturday’s are for sleep ins, right?  Managed to get to 8am, and woken by the phone.  Thought it was work at first, bit blurry eyed, but it was Son2 looking for a ride home.  So off into town, even before coffee.  Now that was scary.  But did a quick round trip, then got into some of those chores I had set myself.   Didn’t get far other than hang out the washing, and have one or two cups of coffee, then off to watch Son1 play football.  Home game, so I try to get there if possible and surprisingly Son2 came as well.  It was really hot, both for players and spectators.  Very muggy like building for a storm.  We got home and Son2 friend turned up just behind us.  He was off to another friends birthday part.  Something different, a vodka slurpy party.  He dosen’t lke vodka so knew he would behave himself.  I had arranged to pick him up after the party.  Thinking of course it would be before midnight, but 1:30am, and two others to drop off on the way.  No problems, saves a cab fare which costs a fortune.  Now hopefully I can get some sleep.

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Alarms – necessary evil

That darn alarm!! Feet it the floor running again.  Another day at the office.  Confronted by the usual unusual news.  Everyone wants a piece of me to do something.  Being a Friday all I wanted to do was catch up on a bit, but, all the outside of the box things happen.  I blinked and it was 2pm, then came the struggle for the 3 hours.  Not really wanting to start something I couldn’t finish before the weekend.  Morning pressure was off and I felt tired.  Wonder why?? lol

Finally got home with big plans on the home front.  Son1 was fixing his car, something had broken and he got the part and Son2 was helping him.  Shock horror, the two of them actually being civil to each other.  Sure made a change.  Well it was a two man job, so I could see the merits in it.  I had intended to jump on the ride on mower to get an hour in before dark, like a jump on tomorrow, but the sky was darkening quickly and Son1’s car was in the way of getting the mower out of the shed.  Opted to do the washing instead.  Had to drop Son2 in town as he was playing poker with some friends, but stayed there the night.  Saved the midnight hour pickup, so by the time I came home tiredness was kicking in.  Shower and fell asleep in front of the TV.  Something that is not uncommon to me lately.

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Will I become a poker addict?

Woke to a fine sunny morning, then realized it was Thursday!!  Shoot the cleaner was coming today (once a fortnight a cleaner comes and does the basics and whatever she can fit in two hours)  Not allowed to touch the boy’s rooms though or do any washing, as they are responsible for that seeing that neither of them contribute by paying any money.  They say they keep some of their stuff here and don’t actually live here or stay here that often to warrant paying board. lol  a bit of power and some water.  Well that’s their story and they have stuck to it.

Picked up Son2 and took him to the prearranged appointment with his doctor, well when we got there he refused to get out of the car saying he had a massive headache.  I noted the light was affecting him and he laid the seat back with no intention of going in.  He said he was sick and tired of the same old thing, nothing anyone can do for him.  Too much drama explaining anything to doctors.  He just wanted to lay down and hope it passes.  I had gone to great lengths to get this appointment to see his GP, so I went in.  The doctor actually came out to the car and gave him a script for some strong antidepressants, that was the original idea of going to the GP’s, but of course things changed today. As usual.  Dropped him back at a friends place then went to work.  Lost a couple of hours, but always manage to work more hours each week then actually paid for! Having a job that at least pays is something to hang onto these days.

Mid-afternoon came and beeping “message tones” from my mobile.  I knew it would be Son2, tells me he got dropped out to the house and is spewing fluro green bile into the toilet, massive headache.  We have been down this path so many times.  It’s a vicious circle.  Kidney failure pushes his blood pressure up, starts headaches, and his body goes into rejection mode.  He needs to drink fluids but his stomach rejects everything and more.  I text him back and ask if there is anything he wants me to get him or do.  His reply “watermelon”.

So, as a mother does, I went to the shops on my way home from work and got some. When I drove up the street I saw the house in darkness, my heart dropped into my stomach, but then I thought he probably went to sleep.  Which is a good thing.  But he was nowhere to be found.  The worst crossed my mind, but not there.  So I rang him, thank God he answered.  He was at a friend’s place having something to eat.  Managed so far to keep it down, and also the fist-full of nurofen had eased the headache.  So things were acceptable again. Later he returned and we spent time together with him teaching me how to play poker on Facebook 🙂  He spends hours daily playing and is quite good at it.  Even plays in local tournaments some nights during the week.  By this time of night my brain is fried lol  Well that’s my excuse.  I did enjoy our time together.

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NOTE TO SELF – “GET SOME SORT OF ORDER IN YOUR LIFE”

Aimlessly blurring from one day to next, somehow need to be addressed I know, but how?  Not sure yet, but working on it.
Back to keeping my daily record is a good start.  I have tried this many times before, but feel now more than ever I can do it. Here goes.
Currently I am like “squatting” in a house for free rent. (is owned by hubby)  Well I am contributing plenty really, maintaining the property, 2.5 acres of mowing, weed-eating, poisoning and keeping gardens in check, PLUS paying the electricity, telephone, insurance. I’m not complaining, as I really have nowhere else to go in my current status, plus I am getting the place, or supposed to be, ready for sale in October this year.  I have started going through what seems a lifetime of accumulated “stuff”. I am reluctant to call it “junk”, but realistically – most of it is.
Over the Easter weekend I got serious and did all the mowing, then on another day took to my wardrobe and seriously attacked clothes that I have never worn in the last 10-15 years, then also took out clothes that no longer fit me. Gives me an idea now of what I do need with winter coming.  Plus it will be easier to move when the time comes.  They were donated to the St. Vinnie bin, no particular reason just it was the nearest one I could think of when in town. But at last I have made a start.

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Holidays

Hope everyone is doing OK these days.  Seems most people are on holidays 🙂  I give thoughts to those who aren’t as the year comes to an end many still have to work to provide for their families and pay for life’s existence. Holiday time gainfully employs many, just take the time and think. All that extra shopping and that trip to wherever you go, It is providing employment. Yes I know it sounds weird, but not all can afford holidays. I am currently working, but I do get the public holidays off. I dream that one day I will be in a position to have a break.  Hey, maybe next year.  Not that far away now. A whole new decade will be upon us.  I am not even daring to think what is install.  No new years resolutions, as in one form or another it will only inspire disappointment.

On a good note Christmas was awesome!  Had a great time with the company of both my sons for half a day and a night.  Far more than I could have hoped for.  Mind you two days after Christmas something weird happened to Son2, his arm swelled up for no apparent reason but doctors weren’t alarmed, just an infection and put a cannula in his other arm and gave him doses of antibiotics intravenously every 12 hours.  Shame that he wasn’t allowed to work though as he only get 16 hours a week and his biggest shift is 6 hours and they sent him home as they wouldn’t let him work. He was very disappointed as it was bandaged safely and he could still work as he feels ok, just a swollen arm. His employers really don’t know, but to him that is nothing in his life as to what goes on internally.  Just that they could physically see something as he had a bandage on. It was a blow to his self-confidence and his pocket. He asked the doctor about it last night and the doctor took it out and now he is just on tablets, but if it starts to swell again to come back as heavy antibiotics might be required to fix the problem.  Having no autoimmune system plays havoc with this sort of problem.

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Just a Tuesday

Ha, could have made $50 on a bet last night, but didn’t have the $50 to put up. sigh.  Shock, horror lol  Son2 stayed home last night 🙂  Probably got some well earned rest. Wonder if he will make it two nights in a row?  I know he won’t tomorrow night as he is working an evening shift, so expect a late night text.  That tomorrow, I will deal with that one then.

Today so far has been a not-too-bad day.  Sorta negative huh?  Okay rephrase, it’s been a GREAT day!! 🙂  Work for me, and will be again when I get home.  How do places get so messy when you aren’t home much?  Must be the other critters that live there.  I am all fired up to attack it when I get there.  Hope I don’t run out of steam in the next hour or so, otherwise it could still be there tomorrow.

We actually had about 5mm of rain this morning.  It is so dry we need metres of it to make a difference.  The grass crackles underfoot and the lack of colour is depressing. A bit stormy looking so you never know, maybe there will be more in it.  Looking at the weather radar, nothing much to report as looks like just cloudcover and no rain.  Gotta be the forever optimist though, each day it doesn’t rain is a day closer to rain.

Changing the subject:  Ever read a book called “Who moved my cheese” by Spencer Johnson?  Definately worth a read in this day and age.  Tis only a short one and is available on PDF to download and read.  Just Google and you’ll find it 🙂  It’s about preparing for change and related organizational skills, written 1998, but even more usefull in this day and age.

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