Some progress

Things seem to be progressing.  He has been depressed for a long time, and I can see this improving.  But he has a huge memory problem, which in itself is becoming a even bigger problem as time goes on.  He forgets all sorts of things.  His doctors are aware of it.  Could be caused from a combination of things, the medications he has been on and his frontal brain surgery.  Nevertheless, we have to live with it and try to get some planning in motion.  I personally run a hard copy diary and a web-based one simply to remind me of my committments as well as his.  I often have to work my days around his appointments, that part hasn’t changed, but his moods are much better and his willingness to talk.  He shuts off the outside world and dosen’t respond when he dosen’t like what is happening around him.  So I wait for the right timing to talk and organize things with him.  Yes, it does make life difficult, but I really don’t see any other way.

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How much bad luck can a person have?

My eldest son, had an incident happen to him two weeks ago.  Physical injury to his face, black-eyes, broken nose and multiple fractures to all sorts of bones in his face. Numbness in his top teeth as well.  Don’t even want to go as to why, but I am left with the “lets get these things fixed”.  He sought medical advice and had CT scans only to discover the injuries I had mentioned above. :sigh: He looked awfull.

He was referred to an ENT specialist in Rockhampton, so with him being unable to hardly see and feeling unwell, I drove him there and went in on his appointments.  He asked me to take him, and really I had no hesitation , as he is only 18 and needs support in these times.  The way the system works in our health system, he knows that I am used to it, plus he was not feeling very well anyway. Result, well they wouldn’t touch him as too many broken bones in his face, so they referred him to Brisbane to the Maxiofacial Clinic.  Thankfully our local hospital paid for our trip down and accomodation.  He underwent surgery to straighten his nose and move the other bones back to where they should be.  Rather a trying time, but we are back home and only time will tell, but he has a followup appointment next week.  He will be in Brisbane for a course he was halfway through when the incident happened.  Hopefully everything will be fine.  Just another stressfull week in my life!!

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Hernia

Well as if my son needs any more problems.  He came to me last week with the news “what is this lump?”

Not one to panic I decided it needed to be seen by his GP, and afterwhich he had a scan done.  Yes to all intents and purposes he now has a hernia.  How to get it fixed?  Surgery.  I can’t believe this.  Neither can he.  He is now at an all time low.  Again.  We have consulted his doctors in Brisbane and they have read the report and said it should be ok to have it done locally.

I wonder how long it will take for the referral to the public health system until he actually gets it done?

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The 19 years ago pang!

It was 19 years ago that my 10 month old daughter gave up her struggle for life.

Not one day goes by still that I don’t think what might have been.  So many questions, but there will never be answers.  I have a sense of loss and emptiness that is indescribable.  I live daily with the guilt of what I should have done or not done, but I accept responsibility.  I wouldn’t put that on anyone else, as from first hand experience, there is no-one to blame but myself.  I was her mother.

I visited her gravesite, it hasn’t changed, but the pain remains.

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